last,Derek Jarman is my most favorite director,poet,artist.
at last,I noticed that I really like his films.
until now, I have been making light of him,his attitude.but,exactly,I always love him.
I don't like war requiem,and I was very disappointed in that video.
I think he has many weak points.
But i noticed that he is exactly special for me again.
in the fact,I already knew he was special at first sight of" last of england" (my first experience of his film.)It perfectly fascinated me.
I understood something I wanted to know,wanted to feel,look straightly.
I met him,the beautiful and delicate and precious radical line,derek jarman.
He was gay,and had HIV career, I don't like the scene he was talking about these themes.
Because I think his films are transcending themes for only those days' society .
of course,in some meaning,these are connected to the film itself strongly,but,i sometimes feel something confined.
I think his love is more wide.
Not only in the meaning of sexuality,but also more essential,it is the love between human,between life,world,such as friendship.
and I like attitudes keeping silence.
I wanted him to only make Blue,and not to answer the interview.
But.. lately,I remember what I thought first when I met his film(Last of England, Wittgenstein).
I knew nothing about him,his life.
I guessed "he is sure to be one of the master of cinema".
but this hope was broken when I saw edward second
"what delicate person he is..
"he has strange humor..
"he doesn't look severe.."
But in stead of fear(from respect),deep, violent sympathy rose in my mind bitterly.
I use the word "sympathy" with all meaning.
So,he is special,exactly special for me.
he is preciously different from other directors however great they are!
he invented the real and "right" meaning of "personal".
personal that has "love" and "after death".
after death, what lasts?
I can't know,but I see, the vision of static unidentified landscape.
or,dynamic slowmotion of lover's smile.slow motion angel.
unidentified someone's sight.
it is love.
love, with wide but personal meaning.
personal but without ego.
lonliness,it is problem.
but beautiful in some meaning.
bitter..in same meaning of sweet..
I want to share this emptiness with you.. Oh no,
this is his word.
BGM:Coil the dreamers are still asleep
Next,Landscape and unidentified 2 " and Marguerite duras and Edward hopper".